Why Diplomacy Improves Your Negotiation Tactics

 By Julie Murphree

Though you always look for the positive in everyone (okay, most of the time), I know you keep running into people that act out of jealousy, anger, and all-around nastiness. You yourself are much more sane, compassionate and wise. Well, how do you deal with the “bad-attitude” crowd, which is, unfortunately, the more common group? By using diplomacy.

This discovery of the value of diplomacy started with my work as a business journalist in 1990. I was senior staff writer for the National Association of Purchasing Management, known today as the Institute for Supply Management (ISM). The most common topic on which I reported was negotiations. Barely an issue of ISM’s monthly magazine, Purchasing Today, went by that we didn’t in some way cover negotiation with all its various facets, carefully dissecting the topic to help the more than 40,000 purchasing and supply management professionals that subscribed to the magazine become better negotiators.

One of the early articles I helped coordinate and edit was “Winning Negotiations” written by Brian G. Long, Ph.D., C.P.M., coauthor of the book The Win-Win Negotiator. From that point forward, the editorial team and I closely examined negotiations, including one-minute negotiation planning, win-win strategies for negotiation, negotiating for discounts, sole-source negotiations, principled negotiation, preparing for negotiations, training the negotiation team for success, problem-solving tactics for negotiations, negotiation pitfalls, structuring a negotiation style, international negotiations, key differences of international negotiations, effective pre-meeting research for the negotiation process, and the actual negotiation meeting. The list could go on and on.

Despite this microscopic look into negotiations, the issue of diplomacy never emerged as a critical link to the successful negotiation process.

The more detailed dictionary definition of “diplomacy” is the “the art and practice of conducting negotiations between nations” and the “skill in handling affairs without arousing hostility.” With good reason, then, one would think that diplomacy in international business negotiation would have merit. Yet, it remains oddly silent as a topic of discussion even within one of the most prestigious organizations on behalf of the most critical business negotiators today: purchasing and supply management professionals.

It wasn’t until I was building and managing a magazine and an editorial staff of my own that I discovered the critical nature of diplomacy and its clear-cut value as a management tool. As a result of having to lead others I realized, in one of those quintessential breakthrough experiences, that everything I had learned and written about negotiations needed to go one step further. It needed to be put into practice.

At the beginning of the New Millennium, I was lured away by another publisher to launch a new magazine for purchasing and supply management professionals (I and the publisher negotiated a wonderfully sweet deal ― that much I had learned). The new editorial staff and I not only continued to cover the topic of negotiations, now sprinkled with insights into diplomacy, but I made application of diplomacy in my business dealings as I contracted with freelance writers, dealt with business partners, and directed the magazine’s editorial staff.

Building a staff from scratch for a new and progressive business magazine is a challenge in itself. Attracting sharp wits with aggressive enthusiasm to write about staid business issues has about as much appeal as a bingo game on a Sunday afternoon (well, unless you love bingo).

But I did find them -- some fresh out of college with whiz-kid minds. Yes, quick minds and loaded down with energy. I lured them to the team with the knowledge that they were helping launch a brand new business magazine. The drawback was that two of my staff often possessed no tact and certainly no ability to form coalitions and partnerships amongst co-workers and collaborators. In magazine publishing you live or die by how well you can collaborate and find consensus amongst departmental peers. If you don’t, deadlines will be missed, and publications will become flat and uninteresting.

Youthful and sharp, the two whiz-kid minds were quick to catch on to the requirements of the magazine. Their caustic opinions, however, lost them friends and helped them gain enemies. In different instances both came to me for help. Their struggles drove me to formalize a strategy for teaching the traditional tactics of diplomacy in the workplace. A heavy amount of reading and studying what diplomats do, in addition to my years of studying and writing about negotiations, helped me formulate a strategy. Books that mentored my training efforts included On the Manner of Negotiating with Princes by Francois de Callieres (with an introduction by Charles Handy) and Diplomacy by Henry Kissinger.

In the end, I created some modified and fact-tracked training to bring these sharp, young professionals to a place of diplomatic success. It not only produced individuals who could get things done, but also sharp-witted staff members who were diplomatic in their approach to their departmental peers, thereby creating teams and support around a magazine that launched in September 2000.

Is it in the Genetic Code?

I believe my ongoing interest in and use of diplomacy is literally written into my genetic code. At the risk of exposing some bizarre branches on my ancestral tree, I’m taking you all the way back to the raucous times of the 1500s to meet my ninth great grandfather from my dad’s line: Shane O’Neill. Shane O’Neill (1530?-1567), “The Proud,” became head of the O’Neill clan (a position simply called “The O’Neill) in 1559. Though grandpa should have been much more diplomatic, we can observe from his story, though five centuries old, the impact his actions had (how time flies).

 He acquired this Irish chieftain spot in a very dubious way (some things never change). Shane, the eldest son of Con O’Neill, was in a prominent position of his own as the First earl of Tyrone. However, Shane launched a bitter and murderous feud against his father after Con accepted King Henry VIII’s nomination of Con’s illegitimate son, Matthew, as baron of Dungannon and heir to the O’Neill title (trust me, this gets clearer). Shane’s agents murdered Matthew in 1558, but when Con died in 1559, the English crown proceeded to recognize Matthew’s eldest son, Brian, as the successor. Obviously, the English policies for political leadership in Ireland were strongly opposed to Shane O'Neill (and he wondered why). Next, you guessed it, Brian, Shane’s own nephew, also was murdered by Shane in 1562.

But when it came to dealing with the English, Shane couldn’t just draw the sword as he’d been doing with his own family. Instead, he had to apply some Irish diplomacy (remember, diplomacy doesn’t mean you have to be nice, just wise). Elizabeth I, daughter of Henry VIII and recent successor to the throne, ruled over all England, which included Ireland. During this period, Elizabeth’s key advisor, the Earl of Sussex, suggested that it would be unwise to allow a chieftain as powerful as Shane O’Neill to outshine the Queen. So, she issued a royal invitation to Shane to make an appearance in her court (history hints that it was more like an arrest).

Most historical records go on to tell us that in court Shane presented quite a sight with his long black hair and flowing yellow robes. His entourage was equally colorful: 200 bodyguards dressed in wolf skins (at least our fashions have improved) and toting battle-axes. Obviously, grandpa didn’t help live down the stereotype of the barbaric Gaels.

There are historical indications that Queen Elizabeth intended to use the court appearance to keep “The Proud” in his place and, at the same time, do a little diplomatic dancing with her subjects. Shane, however, possessed schemes of his own. When Shane O’Neill was presented to her royal majesty, he fell facedown at her feet and bellowed a long, wolfish howl (it was the wolf skins, I’m sure of it). He then identified himself by speaking in Gaelic so neither the queen nor her nobles could understand a word he said. As he “negotiated” with Elizabeth, Shane, in typical arrogant, chieftain style, made it all too apparent that he considered himself on equal footing with her majesty. As an added little jab, he openly attended mass at the Spanish embassy instead of the English courts. As he paraded around as her equal, Queen Elizabeth insisted that Shane enjoy her hospitality, whether he cared to or not, for five months before allowing him to go home.

And while Queen Elizabeth could establish her power and preeminence by detaining Grandpa Shane, she appears to have at least recognized his influence on the Irish populace by releasing him. Was any of the interchange between queen and chieftain a reflection of diplomatic strategy, or was it simply a power play? Whatever the conclusion, both parties employed tactics that drew out power-brokering responses, which is part of diplomacy’s interfacing.

Certainly a queen and an Irish chieftain didn’t reference a manual full of diplomatic tactics. Their lives of position and privilege naturally led them to engage in diplomatic politics. Nevertheless, the point is that whether we are acting on an international or a workplace level, we can still engage powerful influences as we interact with others.

But How?

Well, the strategy is more basic than you might think. Here are the four main tactics to possessing a diplomatic mind frame:

1. Be Observant: Pay attention to your environment and the people you work with. Look for signs that tell you how others feel. Make mental notes so you know how to handle each and every situation.
2. Know the Players: Sun Tzu, in the Art of War says, “Keep your friends close and your enemies closer.” While I hope your co-workers are not your enemies, you need to know them. What makes them tick? What are their interests? How do they approach a problem? Know the answers to just these three questions, address their needs, and ultimately build leverage for collaboration.
3. Keep Promises: In teaming and collaborating environments, when you make a promise, keep it. People remember these things and will either reward you for a promise kept or remind you of a failed promise. Not keeping a promise can hinder any leverage you might be trying to build with a group.
4. Respect others: You don’t have to like those with whom you work or even hang out with them. But you should respect your colleagues. This will allow you to consider where they are coming from on the issues. Diplomacy is not about being nice; it’s just about being respectful and open minded to the needs of the entire group. You know what you want out of the situation (hopefully you’ve listed your wants), so make a point to know what others want. If wants and needs align and time has been taken to list them, this is usually where consensus and collaboration builds.

 My diplomacy tactics will help you discover talents of negotiation and consensus you didn’t even know you had. The art of diplomacy is a learned art. I believe anyone can use the tactics.

 Now, power on!

 To schedule a speaking engagement on the “Power of Diplomacy” call Julie at 480/759-9801.